I thought that the day I decided to get a new job would be the purest most wonderful happiest day of my life. I thought I’d be jumping through hoops and climbing on trees and bouncing off the walls. Well, I’m bouncing off the walls, alright, but not with the joy I thought I would feel. I am having very mixed feelings about leaving the only employer I have ever known.
Last night I decided I would accept The Hospital job, despite the pay cut. My husband and I talked about it long and hard, and finally concluded that this opportunity was like no other I had ever had, and that, given my interest in the medical field, this might actually be a great fit for me. We just couldn’t get past that argument. We talked about money, and how this would affect us financially, and concluded that we are by no means breaking the bank by downgrading my income, and we will be just fine.
(I’ll stop to say that I have the best and most supportive husband in the world)
As our conversation progressed, and it started to become more and more obvious that we were going to pick The Hospital in the end, I started to progressively freak out. It’s funny, though, I’m not scared about the new job (to me it’s utterly exciting to start in a new place, with new people, and a completely new environment), what I am scared about is leaving my company after 7 full years of dedicating my (albeit half-ass) work to it.
Maybe I will post a blog about all the good times and things I learned while working here. I think it might deserve a Good Bye song. Maybe that will help me reach closure, somehow.
I’m so scared right now. Am I really leaving? Is this really happening?
It was hard to fall asleep last night. I stayed awake in bed for a while, continuing to repeat in my head “tomorrow might be the day I quit my job. Tomorrow might be the day I quit my job.” I was afraid I’d be up all night. When I woke up this morning I almost immediately remembered the events from the night before, and started to feel scared again. I usually don’t dress up for work on Fridays, but I did today. It just felt right.
I probably won’t announce that I am leaving until I get a start date. That’s when I can start counting back a 2-week notice period. If they want me to start soon, today still could be the day I quit… but it’s possible they have to get their paperwork together and it might take them more than a day. If that happens, then I won’t be quitting for another week, and that’s a lot of burden to carry around for a whole week at work!!!
Please wish me luck and tell me everything is going to be ok. I am following my bliss, that has got to count for something, right?
abi