As I was watching The Big Bang Theory last night, I got to thinking about Sheldon, and I have decided that I envy him.
From what I mentioned in my last Authenticity post you now know that there are a lot of thoughts I habitually leave unsaid and that I have been tasked with writing them down so I can be more aware of them. Well, the awareness is making me a bit uncomfortable.
When Dr. Crane asked me how many times a day I thought I left things unsaid, I answered “just a couple times a week.” Well, it’s been just a few days and already have jotted down 8 occurrences, 2 of which were lingering flashbacks. I wish I could share them with you, but I am ashamed of my own thoughts, which is why I keep them to myself in the first place. All I can tell you is that they are mostly hostile towards people who decide to act selfishly, or people who don’t fully comply with my idea of what constitutes common sense. Who knew I encountered these situations so often in the course of the day???
I’ve also noticed that while I keep my hostile self hidden from most of the world, I have no problem revealing my true and raw feelings to my husband (even if they are targeted at him). He has this uncanny ability to not be affected by my anger and turning any problem into an easy solution. He knows me in and out, is not afraid of my thoughts, and still loves me. That’s a keeper.
So as I watch Sheldon, I can’t help but notice how he manages to be himself, annoy everybody in the process, and still come out as a lovable character. Anybody as annoying as he is would be shunned from any social situation in real life. Can you imagine a world where you can say and do exactly as you think and still manage to have a healthy social life?
Sigh. I wish.
ina
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