Looks like my last post was when I had my baby 4 months ago… Tons has happened since then, but I did not want to bore you with all that baby talk (I decided to bore you on another blog instead: Motherhood ina Jar). He he 😉
I thought I’d post a report from an ex-childless gal to my childless peeps. A “spy” report of sorts, from someone who’s on the other side of a line that you might cross one day.
One of the things I heard over and over again when I was pregnant was that when you have a baby your life revolves around that new little person. Somehow we all think we are exempt from this fact, and we say to ourselves that we will be different. You make promises to yourself: “I would never neglect my friends” or “I’ll just have my s/o take care of the baby while I go out with my friends” or “I’ll never be one of those people that lose all sight of their individuality when they have kids” or “I would never bring a baby out to a restaurant.” Anyways, the promises go on and on, but they are all based on one fundamentally flawed assumption: that you will *want to* hang onto your old life and somehow the baby will get in your way. Well, I got news for you: when the time comes, the last thing on your mind will be “when can you go back to normal?”
Normal has changed.
Truth is you won’t want to be different from all those annoying parents you know. You’ll WANT TO go home instead of sticking around town after work. You’ll WANT TO make no plans on weekends so you can get the house in order (cuz Heaven knows you had no time for that on weeknights). You’ll WANT TO say No to this and that birthday party. You’ll WANT TO talk about your baby nonstop, and you’ll suddenly lose all awareness that the topic bores others. It’s almost a complete chemical transformation within you. You’ve just acquired a new perspective, and all your preconceived notions go out the window.
So it’s not like this responsibility is suddenly put on you and you’ll want to fight it. It’s more like your home life was just made 500 times better and you want to be there and soak it all in! Not only that, but you want others to understand it! So you keep talking about it until someone gets it! (but they won’t, despite all your efforts).
Now, nothing in life should be snorted in its pure form. Ever heard of “everything in moderation”? At some point you do need to remember that you need a balanced life to function. So, despite my initial instincts, I did go back to work full-time, and I did make an effort to get together with friends again, and I feel great about the fact that I have it all, and it all flows in perfect harmony. That will be your real fight: not the one where you try to “break free” from the baby, but the one where you have to make a huge effort to willingly decide to leave him when you could be spending time with him instead.
So that’s my shout out from this side of the line.
I hope you all have an awesome day and even better weekend!
ina