inacove

The Second Trimester

Written by

Ina Coveney

in

Jump to week: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27

Week 14

This week has felt a lot better than past weeks. I don’t feel like throwing up immediately after feeling hungry, and I feel like I have been taking care of my food intake a little bit better. I also feel good about not missing my twice-a-week workout sessions. I even went swimming this week! One thing is for sure, though: I miss liverworst and deviled ham and turkey deli meat. What I wouldn’t give for some liverworst. Anyways, we visited Norwood Hospital and Newton-Wellesley Hospital this week. I also informed my sister (who has 2 kids) and my mother about my intentions to go natural (I’d been dreading the conversation, big *gulp*). See the chronicle in the “Actions” section below.

Weight: 128 lbs (delta* 13lbs)
* henceforth used to describe “difference from pre-pregnancy weight”

Symptoms

  • The nausea is mostly gone. I still feel a little sick when I am hungry, but I am able to not eat for longer periods of time (yay)
  • I’m really looking more pregnant now… a guy coworker stopped me in the elevator and asked me if I was expecting, and I said yes, but not without warning him that he probably should not be asking women if they are pregnant! What if he was wrong??
  • Snoring continues. Still banned to the guest room on weeknights. Big boo.
  • My tailbone is starting to really bother me. It started this past weekend when I went to the theater… and now it hurts every time I sit or lay down on it. I can’t be THAT heavy… can I?
  • Constipation was pretty rough this week

Actions

  • Started to freak out about getting super duper fat legs, so I re-focused my workout to slimming my legs.
  • Booked us for the natural birthing classes with Nancy Wainer for April
  • Visited Norwood Hospital. The reason to consider it was convenience: 5 min from home. We quickly discarded it when they informed us during the private tour that they do not have a midwifery service (and we are not interested in having an OB surgeon do our care). However, the tour guide (who is also some kind of manager for maternity) was kind enough to spend 2 whole hours with us talking about natural birth, how she had 5 of her 6 children naturally, and only the second one was a C-section (2 were born at Newton-Wellesley, while the other 4 were born at home). We talked about all of my questions and concerns, and she was a wealth of information. Having gone through it herself, and having been in the birthing business (giving classes, being a doula and midwife herself, etc) in several hospitals in the area throughout her career, we found her reassurance of the natural process refreshing. We were on the same page. She quickly noticed Norwood would not be the right place for us, but she had great things to say about Newton-Wellesley, which we would be seeing 4 days later. We asked why she picked Newton-Wellesley over Norwood, and she just said she was not comfortable giving birth around all her coworkers (can’t blame her!), but that was really the only reason. She said Norwood had a very small and tight-knit practice, and our wishes would be respected there (just like anywhere else). She gave us her email address, and offered us her help in contacting doulas so we can interview a few. It was a great talk. I’ll definitely go back for the free breast-feeding classes after babycove is born. She also said she had worked with Nancy Wainer before, and, although she believes the classes will be great for us, she did warn us about taking certain suggestions with a grain of salt and really be discriminative about the advice we receive. After all, there are all different points of “hardcoreness” in the spectrum of natural birth, and we have to find the point that is right and comfortable for us. We thanked her for all her advice.
  • Visited Newton-Wellesley Hospital (NWH). There were 10 other couples there, which made the tour very impersonal and overwhelming. It wasn’t like the tour at Cambridge Birthing Center, where the 10 couples got to sit down for about an hour and just ask all the questions they had about how things worked. In NWH, we jumped straight to the tour. It was intimidating to ask questions because you felt like you were holding up the tour. That didn’t stop me, of course, but it did overwhelm me. It made me feel like the whole operation was one big factory. My husband noticed it, too. Turns out that they didn’t have any labor rooms that were clean to tour, so while we were waiting to see if one would get cleaned, my husband pointed out the “factory” resemblance to me, and I just broke down and cried. I don’t want to have my baby in an assembly line. I was also surrounded by people who were getting their deliveries induced or having a c-section, which made it uncomfortable for me (once again) to ask questions about the needs in a natural delivery situation. I asked the tour woman if they would be careful to pair you up with a nurse who was more supportive of natural deliveries, and she had the gonads to say that “all nurses are supportive of natural delivery equally” — umm, excuse me, but that can’t be possible. In every other place we have seen, they are careful to note that they DO understand there is a difference and it requires a special kind of nurse; what makes NWH so special that this wouldn’t be the case here? I just found it useless to ask any more questions after that. If she didn’t know how things really worked, then I couldn’t trust any of her answers. Later on, my husband brought up the excellent point to me that we had been spoiled in other tours with very personal attention, and maybe we just got a really bad tour. He suggested we interviewed a nurse-midwife who delivers at NWH and get her take on how things really work, and maybe get a new tour of the labor rooms when it’s not so busy. He had a good point… but my mind kept going back to Cambridge Birthing Center. It’s still far away and it still defaults to Cambridge Hospital (not the best), but it met my needs exactly. And, if we ever wanted to do a home delivery in the future, I felt more and more strongly that Cambridge Birthing Center would be a good stepping stone in our preparation as opposed to a hospital.
  • Set up two pre-natal appointments for the first week of April: one with a nurse-midwife from the Women’s Health Associates (WHA) midwifery group (which services NWH), and another with a nurse-midwife from Cambridge Birthing Center. Turns out they won’t let you just “screen” or “interview” groups, so I had to set up full blown pre-natal appointments with both. They asked me all my insurance information, and WHA even asked me to bring a copy of my medical records.
  • Told my mother and my sister (Monica Geller) about my intentions to go natural. To my surprise, my mother was more open-minded about the whole thing than my sister was. My mother had pretty rough deliveries (all with epidural, some with pitocin), but her sister (my aunt) had a very seamless one, so she’s giving me the benefit of the doubt and has vowed to be super supportive once she has the opportunity to tell me about her own experience (they say your mother’s labor is similar to your own, so I asked for the stories). On the other hand, my sister was more inquisitive: “why do I want to go natural? When she had her first, she felt good about the epidural, and for her second she had to get a c-section even though she had not gotten an epidural, so really all this preparation I’m doing is going to go out the window on that day” — if that’s her way to be supportive, I don’t want to see her trying to instill actual fear! I told her I expected her to be more supportive than that, and she vowed to change her tune. As a side note: going natural is like going against the grain in the United States; so, if you live here, you’re probably finding that everybody has an opinion about why you would be so crazy to do this without drugs and that you are being close-minded by not wanting to hear other people’s real-life stories. But remember: this is not one of those situations when listening to other people’s experiences help your own, because every single labor situation is different, and just because something happened to one person doesn’t mean that it will happen to you. Who knows how they prepared (if at all) for their delivery, who knows what kind of support they had around them, who knows what kind of doctor they had — these factors will likely be different for you. So you could arm yourself with all the stories you want to hear, but if they are mostly negative, your mind will be affected negatively, you will breed fear, and your chances of making it through natural delivery will diminish. Think of this more as one of those situations when positive thinking, a LOT of preparation and study, learning new pain-management positions and ways to breathe, and people around you cheering for you and praising you, are the things that are going to help you through. So hang in there, and make sure that you do have a strong support group around you. The greatest enemy on the day of labor is fear. Fear tenses the muscles and exacerbates pain. Make sure you will have people around you telling you you are doing great, and you are doing the right thing. This is almost the most important piece of the natural-birth preparation puzzle because, take it from me, you will need the help.

Week 15

This was a pretty boring week in terms of things to do. In fact, I didn’t really do much at all. I just went home and watched TV. Since I had been putting in early mornings at the hospital, I had come home totally BEAT. I took more naps than I care to admit. I did, though, get a chance to cook a little more (check out the recipes here). Because of that, I didn’t get to the gym 🙁 So I feel myself getting out of shape, and I didn’t get to measure my weight. Oh well, maybe next week?

Symptoms

  • Bloody nose continues. I don’t know when this started, maybe about 3 weeks ago? But every time I blow my nose I see blood. It’s normal now.
  • Zero nausea.
  • Rectal bleeding when doing number 2.
  • I can feel the baby move! It’s still early, and it’s about the height of an apple, but it IS moving. So if I lie really still, and put my hand under my belly button, I can feel something moving in there. It feels like a muscle spasm, and it’s very irregular. It’s hard to hear it over my own blood-flow/heartbeat, but it’s there! My husband can’t feel it yet, because I can’t really feel it with my hand, I feel it inside. The reason I have to put my hand on is to apply pressure, so that the movement can be felt by my outer “hull” nerve endings. Quite exciting, though 🙂 It’s like having an alien inside you: you can’t control it! It’s alive, and it’s just there!

Actions

  • Purchased maternity tops. It was starting to look pretty pathetic trying to fit into my old shirts.
  • Bought a new bra (went up one cup size… and, by the way the new bra feels, most likely a whole size around my torso – ouch! Might need to go back for a new one)
  • I continue to use a face scrub at night to prevent more acne (I’ve tried Noxzema, and it’s great! But this time I’m using Neutrogena gentle scrub). It’s actually helped keep my face clear. After all, I don’t wear foundation on a daily basis, so the visible acne does get pretty embarrassing.
  • Continue to think of baby names, which my husband continues to shoot down without adding any to the list. Great help, huh? I actually got mad at him for this this week. He better start contributing some names! I’m not in love with any names yet… this is so hard!!!
  • I did not go to the gym this week, and I definitely paid for it on week 16!

Reading

  • A friend of a friend, Lily, had her second baby at Cambridge Birthing Center and she loved it! Read her story here

Week 16

This week was both exciting and a little blah. I sent a picture of myself to my family, and the consensus is that my belly looks really big for how far along I am. Some chuck it to it being a girl (girls, according to the old wives’ tale, make you fat during pregnancy) and some others say it’s just a big baby (my husband, standing tall at 5’11”, is the shortest of his brothers). So who knows. Baby Center says that the top of my uterus should be half way between my belly button and my pubic bone. Here’s a tip: if you have an orgasm, your uterus contracts (hardens) for about an hour, an hour and a half. So it’s a lot easier to feel where the uterus begins and ends just by feeling your belly with your hand. My uterus appears to be right at my belly button. Maybe it’s happening like that because I have a small frame, so the normal measurements are not applying to me exactly.
This week, my next door neighbor, Ethel, gave birth to a little baby girl! I was so eager to help out and to be there for her, that I took the day off from work. To my inexplicable surprise, her husband’s family was around to help them take care of the house, their 2 year old daughter, etc, so there wasn’t much for me to help with. It just made me realize that my eagerness to be there for them was analogous to my missing my family so much, and not knowing if they are going to be around when I give birth myself 🙁 It was really sad for me. I just miss them so much and I wish they could spend this chapter in my life with me 🙁
Oh, and in case you were curious, Ethel bravely made it through 80% of her labor without anesthesia, but really needed a break a couple of hours before pushing so she got the epidural. Her pushing stage was long and hard (as expected), but everything went very well and she’s recovering.
Let’s end this week on a bright note, though: we now have 2 girl names on the list, and 1 boy name. We need more boy names! I’m almost wishing it was a girl, so we could pick one of the awesome names on that list. I also got my husband’s family excited about thinking about them, so it’s been fun 🙂

Weight: 131lbs (delta 16lbs)

Symptoms

  • Sleepy… zzzzzzzzzz. I got a great night sleep, but I could not keep my eyes open beyond 3pm. What is wrong with me?
  • Constipation continues.
  • It might just be the dry winter air, but I have a lot of little irritated dots on the back of my hand. They seem to be multiplying. They feel like scratches, so it could just be dry hands. On the same dry skin note, I had to start bringing facial moisturizer to work and apply multiple times a day: my face is SO dry! It had not been like this all winter! I’m blaming pregnancy.
  • Due to my gaining weight around my thighs, they have started to rub against each other when I walk, which is making them chafe! It’s painful, so I’ve had to start wearing spandex under my pants to prevent further skin friction

Actions

  • Finally got around to sending a picture of my belly to my family. It looks HUGE considering I’m only 4 months preggo, but they liked it 🙂 The main authorities on determining the sex of the baby by just looking at my belly are my aunt and my mother, and even they are split (aunt = girl, mother = boy). Interesting.
  • Resumed going to the gym, with special attention to my thigh muscles
  • Stopped taking my pre-natal vitamins until further notice. I might be a little crazy, but I just don’t think it’s natural to add something to your body all of the sudden, and to trust stuff made by companies that are not even certified by the FDA especially when what you intake is so crucial to the development of your baby. I took them for the first trimester, which is when it’s critical to take folic acid for the baby’s formation, but after that, you just need good calcium and iron intakes (and obviously some other Vitamins), but I do eat a lot of meat (tons of iron) and I don’t shy away from cheese or ice cream or some milk with my cereal in the morning (calcium), so I just don’t see the point of taking them. Who knows what they are really made of anyway? I’ll ask about this in my next pre-natal appointment next week. The article below says that you could opt for not taking them, as long as you are getting some nutricional counseling. I’ll look into that, too.

Reading

Week 17

This week I had two pre-natal appointments: one with the Newton-Wellesley Hospital midwives, and one with the Cambridge Birthing Center midwives; however, after going to the former, I decided to cancel the latter. Read about our experience below, under Actions. At the pre-natal appointment we got to hear the baby’s heartbeat! It was fast and strong, and made me feel so proud of my little resident. It’s there! It’s really in there!
We also had to make a decision of whether to have an ultrasound in the next couple of weeks, or not at all. As I may have mentioned, I really didn’t want to have an ultrasound until the baby was older… but apparently the insurance will only pay for the ultrasound if it’s done between weeks 18-20. The reason is that this is the optimal age for the doctors to detect certain defects in the baby, which may not be detectable by this method in the future. If we wanted to forgo this ultrasound, it is 100% our choice, but we would not be able to get another one later on just to find out the sex, unless we paid for the test out of pocket (ouch). I really didn’t want to do an ultrasound, but we do want to find out the sex of the baby so we can prepare. What I am scared of is of finding out something that might be worrisome through a test that is not conclusive. You see, the ultrasound is a screening device, NOT a diagnostic device. If they do find something, it would be the “probability” of something. The actual diagnostic would happen later through additional testing. I’m just really afraid of them suspecting something, add all that extra stress, and then it turning out to be false. My husband is of the thinking that the baby is totally fine, and the screens will come out negative, and this is just an opportunity to find out the sex of the baby. If he’s right, there’s really nothing to fear.
On a side story, Ethel has been having a really hard time breast feeding (her ducts are clogged, so it takes a long time to massage them and finally feed — it’s taking up all of her time). I feel really bad and I wish I could help. I went over there last night and basically offered my services for laundry or to babysit or to bring them dinner some night. ANYTHING that will get her to feel a little bit less overwhelmed. I really hope they take me up on it. Hang in there, Ethel!

Weight: 131 lbs (delta 16lbs)

Symptoms

  • My tailbone is KILLING me: it’s so painful! I can sit, but it’s so hard to stand back up. I definitely look like a pregnant lady when I am getting up off a chair (picture it… that’s what it looks like).
  • Constipation continues.
  • I’m more tired now after a workday. On Monday I fell asleep after dinner (around 7pm), and didn’t wake up until 11:30pm. Went back to bed at midnight and slept until my alarm at 5am. I still can’t make an official direct correlation to the pregnancy, since I have been getting up early for work meetings. I’ll keep an eye on it and report back.
  • Bloody noses have subsided. I still show a little blood when I blow my nose, but it’s nothing like it was in the past few weeks.
  • The baby has been kicking up a storm! It’s like it’s trying to tell me something in morse code 🙂 They say I’m feeling it really early, it could be due to my small frame.

Actions

  • Went to the gym! It’s definitely getting harder to exercise… maybe I should go more often to keep up. Twice a week might not be good enough anymore. Man, I wish I owned a treadmill.
  • Visited Women’s Health Associates: this is the midwifery group that services Newton-Wellesley Hospital. The midwife we saw was Midwife A. The practice has 3 midwives in total, which is great, because that means I’d only have to go through the trouble of meeting two other midwives in preparation for delivery (any one of them could be on call that day, so it helps to know all of them personally). The practice is located in Wellesley, MA, on Rt. 9 westbound, right off of I-95, which is very convenient as it does not require a lot of backroads. The exam room was lit with a warm pink light, which felt strange at first, but then I understood why it was that way: if they had used regular hospital-like exam-room fluorescent lights, it would have felt very cold and impersonal, while the soft lighting made the entire experience be very intimate. Midwife A sat us down and started explaining their philosophy: most women come to them because they are interested in a drug-free delivery, and that is their specialty. She calculated that about 25% of women receive an epidural when under their care (making for a 75% success rate with natural deliveries, which was encouraging). She was very patient with all of our questions, which ranged anywhere from “can I eat liverwurst?” to “I want to stop taking pre-natal vitamins” (see my Q&A below). She was very patient with all of our questions; however, I did want to make sure she understood what we needed and I wanted to walk away with a clear feeling on how they would handle the day of delivery. So I told her that my biggest fear around hospitals was that because the epidural would be THERE, I’d be inclined to ask for it, even though that is NOT what I really want. I told her I really needed a strong support team around me to help me through this. She said that, although the epidural IS there and they will not deny it to anyone, they will probably take my request and ask me something like “well, why don’t we try this position for the next couple of contractions?” things like that, to try to keep me away from the drugs. That’s EXACTLY what I wanted to hear. If they caved in at the first request, then there would really no point in even trying to go natural. Her response was very reassuring. She also explained that, because they don’t work directly at the hospital as staff, they are able to stay with you for most of the time you are in labor (this is different from other hospitals, where the midwives have multiple deliveries going on at once and might pop in once every couple of hours). I asked her if, in that case, it would even make sense to have a doula (see the Q&A). In conclusion, it was a great idea to talk to the midwives and find out how this actualy works. It was encouraging and very reassuring. NWH has a leg up on Cambridge Birthing Center because it’s closer to my house, which makes the uncomfortable commute time far shorter. Here are a few questions I asked the midwife, and what she said:
    Q&A

    • Should we have a doula? A: She said that the doula might be really helpful at home, because the biggest mistake people make is to come to the hospital too early. The doula will come to my house and help me through it, and determine when it’s time to head for the hospital. Once at NWH, the midwives will assess the situation: if I have a groove going with the doula or with my husband, they will not interrupt that groove. They will only assist in any way that they are helpful, but they will not take over. The involvement of the midwife is then dependent on what is happening at the moment.
    • What are these dots in the back of my hand? They feel like broken skin from the dry winter air, but I’ve never had them before! A: They are just dry skin. Keep it moisturized.
    • What is the redness on my face? I thought it was acne, but I have not seen any zits… just red bumps. A: If you don’t see zits, it doesn’t look like it could be acne. Might be rosacea. If it really bothers you, you could see a dermatologist about it. Just use a mild soap.
    • Is it ok to exercise, even though I have never exercised before? I do some brisk walking, swimming and stationary bike. A: Yes, regular exercise is great. Just listen to your body when you think you’re overdoing it.
    • My tailbone is killing me! What should I do? A: That is a common symptom, and it will get worse. It’s your joints stretching and getting ready to carry your new weight. Do some stretches and/or yoga to help the pain, but don’t expect it to go away. If it really bothers you, you can see a chiropractor.
    • Will the pain on my tailbone make labor that much harder? A: It depends on how bad you perceive the pain to be.
    • Can I eat liverwurst? A: You can eat anything that is not raw. Check the package and make sure it’s PASTEURIZED. The same goes for soft cheeses. (sadly, liverwurst does not say “pasteurized” on it 🙁 neither does deviled ham)
    • I am done with pre-natal vitamins. The way I look at it, I know what is going into my body, except for those things. They are not regulated by the FDA which means that I don’t truly know what is in them… and even if they WERE regulated, I still don’t know if I should trust it so blindly. I’d like to compensate with diet. A: No doctor is going to give you a hard time if you feel so strongly about it. Just make sure you are watching your iron intake, which is the one that your baby will deplete you of the fastest, and compensate with a lot of fruits and veggies.
    • What can I do about my constipation? A: You should drink a lot of water, and may take colace (over-the-counter stool softener)
  • Chose a hospital!!! This is a big big big milestone. Glad all that is done.
  • Scheduled our first (real) ultrasound for April 22nd. My parents are going to be here then, so it couldn’t have been timed better!
  • Started asking around about pediatricians in the area. Ethel is very happy with hers (Norwood Pediatrics). I also ran into my basement architect, and he said his friends were happy with one in Westwood. I’ll keep you posted of our research!

Reading

Week 18

My husband left me this week. Not for good, just for a week. Still hurts, though.
This whole week I was wishing I didn’t have to work. I wanted to be home, take care of the house in preparation for my parents’ visit next week, cook my meals, clean up… sigh… anyways, no such luck. I worked all week long, and it wasn’t an easy one either! However, I did manage to change my routine a little bit: I started waking up at 5am in order to have a better breakfast and to spend a little more down time in the morning. Also, this allows me to take the long way to the train and do a little bit of walking even before the day has begun! Other than that, the baby has been really active and kicking up a storm. Loving every second of it.
I also started interviewing doulas. This will be interesting…

Weight: 129.5lbs (delta 14.5lbs)

Symptoms

  • Constipation continues
  • Baby’s kicks are getting stronger! Maybe soon my husband will be able to feel them! I pretty much feel the baby every few hours. I’ve gotten so used to it that I worry if I don’t feel it for a while. Little babycove has become my little body companion 🙂
  • Maybe it’s the hormones, maybe it’s the newfound motherly instinct, but I find myself crying to songs I have been listening to and enjoying for YEARS. The latest one to make me cry is Las Chicas del Can – Me siento tan sola which is about a girl who gets pregnant by her boyfriend who dumped her quickly afterwards, and has to run away because her parents were adamant about her getting an abortion. It’s a merengue song, of all things… great song, but makes me cry when I hear it now.

Actions

  • Began interview process for doulas. Our contact at Norwood Hospital was kind enough to send a message to the doula list-serv, and I got 16 responses over 2 days!!! I picked 4 (pretty much at random) and I interviewed 2 this week, and will interview 2 more next week. I figured if I don’t feel 100% right about any of them, I could keep going down the list.
    Things I look for in a doula:

    • Reasonable price (the range appears to be $700 to $1200 for 2 prenatal appointments, help throughout labor and delivery, and 1 post-partum visit)
    • Chemistry. I have to get along with her, not be afraid to speak my mind, and make sure that my wishes are the priority here.
    • Speaking of wishes, she has to be 100% supportive of MY plan. I do not welcome anyone with their own agendas. After all, there are a lot of points in the wide spectrum of natural delivery, and I can’t expect everyone to share EXACTLY my point of view, but I do demand that they respect it.
    • A GOOD answer to the question “what if I crack and I say I want the epidural after all?” I have to say the best answer I have received so far is “we’ll have our own code word for when you can’t handle it anymore and you are POSITIVE you want it.” I really liked that. That means I can ask for it, but as long as I’m not saying my code word, I know I won’t be taken seriously. Knowing me like I know myself, I know when I’m asking for things just to test the waters, and when I’m asking for something because I really mean it. So that technique would work great! I look forward to more good responses.
    • Non-bossy demeanor, but strong-willed. I should be the bossy one in the room, but I will need her to stand her ground and defend my wishes to the docs and nurses.
    • Someone who will help my husband become engaged in the process.
  • Made sure to work out most days, either by going to the gym and doing leg/thigh exercises, or by taking the long way to the train in the morning (30min walk vs 10min walk).
  • Took some colace (or the CVS generic equivalent)
  • Invited my inlaws to our ultrasound. If they accept the invitation, it will be a full house! (my parents will be there for sure)

Week 19

Tons of things happened this week… let’s get organized here:
Found a Doula!
I ended up picking the one that was the LEAST experienced of all the ones I interviewed, but the one that I had the best chemistry with. I am very glad I interviewed 5 doulas ranging from $700 to $1300, because I knew what was a good deal and what wasn’t. I’m excited about my choice!
Had my first hormone-induced burst-out-crying-for-a-stupid-reason event
I burst out crying when the lady at the appliance store service department was totally rude to me on the phone. I called my husband and I started to bawl! I can’t imagine what my husband must have been thinking of me right at that moment.
Started Birthing Classes
I attended the first of nine sessions to learn about natural birth (hypnobirthing tecniques, and getting you in the right mindset to deliver without drugs). My mother went with me, since my husband was out of town. The class was good, but I definitely have my reservations. Listen, I am the first proponent of natural delivery and a completely drugless process, but I felt like I was too “liberal” for that class. Every single couple there was planning a home birth, which I applaud with all sincerity, but I felt very much on the spot. The midwife, Nancy Wainer, did say to me that many couples change their mind after her class and decide to do it at home. I felt a bit uncomfortable at the thought that she might want to change my mind, as opposed to just letting me do my thing. Recall that a hospital was not my first choice either, but now that our decision has been made, midwives and doulas alike are supposed to just support you in your plan. So you’ll understand if I was a little put off by her comments about how hospitals are just the worst places to have babies, and she admitted herself to being somewhat cynical. I had vowed to take the class with a grain of salt (I was kind of expecting her to be way out there), and to watch for anything that might not “fit” my style… but it might take more concentration than I thought. I would recommend that she stuck to telling us about all the techniques and wonders about having a baby on your own, and empower us to do so, and I wished she checked the fear-mongering cynical remarks at the door. There is no further need to compare home birth to hospital birth when the people sitting in the room have already made their choice. You got our attention, now you can stop trying to “sell” the idea to us.
I do have to say that her associate, Sarafina Kennedy was lovely. I wished she taught every class. She was very supportive and never once put down hospitals (I did make it clear from the start I would not be doing it at home, so she appeared to be sensitive to that which was much appreciated!). Instead, she focused on the facts and misconceptions, and how they might not make sense sometimes. It was a very educational session, and I felt very free to ask my questions. Sarafina is just awesome. Next week the class will be taught by Nancy… I just hope her rants don’t turn off my husband from ever coming back with me.
My Belly Popped!
How do you know when your belly pops? It’s the first time you notice that your belly is now hard and getting its own shape. It’s no longer a blob of fat gathering in your front midsection, but like an actually pregnant woman’s belly. My belly was red for like a half day, and it just felt very hard overnight. In short: it popped 🙂
Had an ultrasound
We found out we are having a boy!!! Here’s how that went: I was quite scared of the experience. I don’t like to be manhandled, and I didn’t want the tech to push too hard on my belly. I was dreading the whole thing. We ended up having a very nice tech who talked with us, shared with us, and talked us through what she was looking for in the images. When it was time to tell the sex, I asked her if she could show me, and I would call it. She went ahead and took a perfect picture… it was really easy to tell it was a boy!!! And she concurred. To prepare for this, I trained myself on how to read gender in ultrasounds (here are some great examples), and then I took a quiz here.
I always thought I’d be having a boy, so it felt good to be right. The reason I thought this is because there is a theory out there that says that Y-chromosome spermatozoids (which produce boys) travel faster than X-chromosome sperm (which produces girls), but they die sooner. Conversely, X-chrom sperm travels slower but lives longer. Since we conceived towards the end of my egg’s life (a whole 2 days after ovulation), I suspected that the Y-chrom sperm had gotten there first. We didn’t actually plan it this way (we had actually thought that we had missed ovulation when we decided to “try” but we went ahead with it anyway knowing we’d have a 10% chance of conceiving at that point), but I knew where we were in our ovulation time and knew of this theory. Anyways, that’s why they tell you that if you want to have a girl, you should have intercourse 2-3 days before ovulation so that the Y-chrom sperm has died by the time the egg meets the sperm that is left alive (X-chrom), and if you want to have a boy you would wait until after ovulation to make sure that the sperm that gets there first will fertilize the egg. This is called the Shettles Method.

It's a boy! You are looking at the baby from the bottom, so the butt is on the bottom left of the screen, and the white stick at the bottom of the screen going from bottom center towards the upper right is most likely a leg bone.

Weight: 129.5lbs (14.5 delta lbs)

Symptoms

  • Belly popped!
  • Constipation continues. This is by far the worst symptom of pregnancy. I’ve been feeling little sharp pains all over my belly, just like you feel when you have some gas. The colace was not really helping (I took small dosages) so I took the max dosage last night (3 pills) and we’ll see how it goes.
  • Hormone-induced crying spree.
  • Feel the baby fluttering about pretty much every hour

Actions

  • Took first birthing class (1 of 9)
  • Took max dosage of colace for the constipation
  • Got my ultrasound done and found out the sex of the baby.

Reading

Week 20

My parents were here all week. Visiting parents always seems like a nice enough idea in theory, doesn’t it?… to my credit, it took a whole WEEK before we had a blow up argument. That’s gotta be worth something, right? At least it’s worth the lesson that: 1 week is the visit limit! Anyways, in short: my father had no interest in understanding what this whole hippy-granola natural-birth situation was all about, and he did all he could to provoke me and try to get me to trip over the information I was giving him. They say I was getting defensive, but I tell you: how can you be the one to be labeled as “defensive” when someone else is coming at you on the “offensive”??? It is not paranoia if someone is ACTUALLY out to get you! (Deep breaths) I did apologize for totally overreacting in the end… but we’ve pretty much determined that my father’s presence might be a detriment to the process… so he’s been encouraged to come visit after the baby is born (as opposed to coming before the due date like my mother plans to do). I feel good about that. To all natural-birthers out there: check non-believers at the door. You’ll need all the support you can get, and stress is the last thing you’ll need around on labor day.

Symptoms

  • Baby is growing so his kicks are getting more and more noticeable! My husband was able to feel them by placing his hand on my belly! FINALLY!!!! Great times.
  • Weird dreams! I had a horrible dream where I was bleeding out uncontrollably (although it look more like marinara sauce) and even some amniotic fluid was being released. They thought I was in labor, as apparently (in my dream) these were normal signs. But I had no cramping, no contractions, nothing. So the doctors wanted to wait a couple days to see if the issue went away on its own. In the meantime I was worried that I was miscarrying after 20 weeks. Then the girls from Sex and the City suggested I hired Matthew McConaughey as my OB, when he was just an orderly (according to the hospital’s physician database). Then there was something about replacing a tub in the second floor of an old southern house… Which Matthew McConaughey also took care of. Anyways… dreams go into overdrive during pregnancy. Weird dreams are bound to ensue.
  • Constipation continues. I drink water like a fish, and every so often have the maximum dosage (3 pills) of CVS’s generic equivalent of Colace. Exercising seems to help a lot more when combined with these treatments.
  • It’s become very uncomfortable to sleep on my side all night. I keep waking up belly-up in the middle of the night and then freaking out and turning to my side (you’re not supposed to sleep on your back as the weight may put too much pressure on a vital vein running through your body).
  • It’s also uncomfortable to go to bed right after dinner… I’ll have to opt for early dinners now. This is what Baby Center recommends:

    Heartburn and indigestion can make it extra uncomfortable to lie down in bed. What to do: Avoid foods that trigger your heartburn, give yourself two to three hours to digest a meal before going to bed, and try sleeping semi-upright in a comfy recliner or propped up with extra pillows under your upper body.

  • My legs cramped up while I was taking a nap yesterday. Here’s what Baby Center says about that:

    Leg cramps jar you out of a deep sleep. What to do: Ease the cramp by straightening your leg, heel first and gently flexing your toes back toward your shins, or walk around for a few minutes.

  • Acne has gotten a bit worse. I keep telling myself to lay off chocolates, but I eat such few sweets anyway, that I allow myself a bite-sized Twix if I want to during the day. This is what Baby Center has to say about acne:

    Acne. Increased oil production may contribute to the development (or worsening) of acne. If that’s the case, be diligent about washing well with a gentle soap or cleanser twice a day, and make sure that any moisturizer or make-up you use is oil-free. Don’t take any oral acne medications – some are very hazardous during pregnancy – or use any topical acne products without first checking with your practitioner.

  • My nipples have definitely gone from Pretty in Pink to Brown Eyed Girl. This is what Baby Center has to say about it… it’s not much, but you are definitely not alone!!!

    You may be able to see veins under the skin of your breasts, and you may find that your nipples are getting bigger and darker. After the first few months, your areolas — the pigmented circles around your nipples — will also be bigger and darker.

Actions

  • Started working out again (yeah, it’s hard for me to stay on the mark with this… but now that the weather is nicer, it’s been pleasant to go outside and do some walking/jogging in the morning)
  • Found out that my sister is getting varicose veins… so I think I should start following some advice to prevent them! This is what Baby Center has to say about it:

    Varicose Veins. As your pregnancy progresses, there’s increasing pressure on the veins in your legs; higher progesterone levels, which may cause the walls of your veins to relax, can make the problem worse. You’re more likely to get varicose veins if other family members have them. Also, they tend to get worse with each successive pregnancy and as you age. To help prevent or minimize varicose veins, exercise daily, prop up your feet and legs whenever possible, sleep on your left side, and wear maternity support hose.

  • I’ve been allowed back into our bedroom due to my parents taking up the guest room, yay! Hope it sticks

Week 21

Week 21 started out with allergies allergies allergies. I called my insurance company’s nurse, and she said I was only allowed to spray saline in my nose. Then I called my midwife on call and she said that Claritin was fine (normal dosage, daily until symptoms subside – notice this is NOT the same as Claritin D which you should stay away from!!!), and Benadryl was good (but makes you drowsy, so only take it at night IF NEEDED, instead of Claritin). She also said to stay away from Sudafed… and if it’s absolutely necessary, use it very sparingly (one dosage, period). Anyways, took a Claritin for a couple of days (one pill per day) and I feel much better. Other than that, I’ve just been battling constipation. You are probably sick of hearing about this crap (hah — or lack thereof!), but I guess it’s become one of those things that has DEFINED this pregnancy. I have been drinking 5 bottles of water at work (between 7 and 5) since I don’t drink much water once I get home, and also take Colace whenever it gets really bad. Anyways, other than that, the belly has been growing and kicking up a storm. I love feeling it in there! I’m certainly going to miss my little alien companion when he comes out.
Also, this week we grew disillusioned with our birthing classes, yet again. The main midwife, Nancy Wainer, showed us a slide show of high risk pregnancies that had successfully ended in vaginal deliveries, but continued to dodge questions about the options and techniques available to deal with those situations without recurring to C-section. I became very fearful and angry at not getting the information right away, so we set up a meeting with Nancy to discuss these concerns for Sunday (it actually turned out OK! Read my debrief on week 22).

Symptoms

  • Constipation continues
  • Acne has gotten worse… it’s not pimples, just red spots… some are itchy. I have started washing my face with Neutrogena more often (mornings and evenings).

Actions

  • The backup doula replied she would love to be the backup, but has not answered my question about her backup rates… not sure if she has any? I wait.

Week 22

Week 22 started with a BANG. First of all, I quit eating cheese altogether in hopes that will help my constipation issue. By Saturday, I had a great urge to go to the bathroom, but nothing was coming out. After an embarrassingly long time, and a really painful process, I was able to release what I think has been clogging my whole system from the start. It’s as if I had swallowed a plug that was slowing everything down, and I finally let it out. Of course, rectal bleeding ensued. I really hope that was the worst of it, and we are able to just get along from now on. Still, cheese is out of my life for a little while.
As for my conversation with Nancy Wainer, it went much better than expected. We charged in there, and basically explained to her where we were coming from: we have done all the research that can be done, and we were committed to a natural birth (even against the, albeit uninformed, wishes and concerns of our own family and friends). We had also decided that a hospital might be the best place for us. Having said that, it is very important that we KNOW what our options are if the baby is breeched, or if I’m pushing for 4 hours without any outcome, or if they want to do a c-section ’cause they just don’t know what is wrong. If we don’t know what the alternatives to C-sections are, we will not be able to fight the C-section suggestions, and all of this would be for naught. So it’s time for her to start spilling the beans on what to do! She profusely apologized for creating any additional anguish, and stressed that wasn’t her intent. She then proceeded to spend 2 hours with us telling us about high risk pregnancies, high risk baby positions, and when a C-section was ACTUALLY warranted. She also suggested some books (Ina May’s Guide to Birth, The Thinking Woman’s Guide to A Better Birth, and Gentle Birth Choices) and articles regarding when to cut the umbilical cord (1 hour to 1.5 hours after birth), and why babies do not need a shot of Vitamin K immediately after birth. We felt very relieved afterwards, and ended up asking her what her fees were to do (additional) pre-natal appointments with her. We figured that we couldn’t get free advice forever, and there were certain factoids about nutrition that she advises her clients on and my husband wanted to “unlock” those secrets by scheduling a formal appointment 🙂 She was really great, and made sure we didn’t feel rushed at all. I also felt comfortable that now she knows why we made the decisions we made, and, although it really shouldn’t matter whether she approves or not, it’s important to me to not feel judged in her class. Here are some pieces of advice she gave us:

  • Make sure that my midwives take the time to get to know me and understand what my wishes are.
  • Don’t let them take the baby away from you. As soon as he’s born, press him against your bare chest for however long you need (normally an hour or so). It is also encouraged to try to breast-feed almost right away if possible. Take your time. You are not in a rush. Let the cord stay for as long as it’s needed, and enjoy the moment.
  • Ask the midwives for advice on constipation and demand natural remedies. One of her suggestions was: take a really cold glass of water, followed by a warm glass of water, in the morning. Then do it again, but alternating the temperatures in the middle of the day, then do it again at night. After 4-5 days, I should see a change in my digestive system. If not, I’ll have to think of other ways, but it is NOT ok to be constipated, and it will make labor a more uncomfortable ordeal if this hasn’t been properly rectified by then.
  • By weeks 28-30, the baby should already be in a head-down position. You can tell by listening for heart sounds: they should be stronger at the bottom of the uterus, as opposed to the top. To help the baby get in a good position from the start, make sure to not cross your legs, to wear sensible shoes with a back (NO heels), and to sit up straight (don’t recline). By week 30 you should know if your baby is breeched, and there are certain exercises to try to get it in the right position (these secrets may be unlocked when the time comes).
  • Times when a C-section has been needed in her experience: if the mother has meconium in her water AND the baby’s heart rate does not sound healthy, it is time to take the baby out to prevent the baby from continuous distress and from swallowing the meconium in the water. Other times, if the baby is not coming out and the baby goes in distress, it’s time to take it out. These are somewhat vague, but definitely helped us understand that C-sections are appropriate when they are absolutely necessary.
  • She was reassuring about stopping the pre-natal vitamins. She said they are just a supplement to a good diet, so just have a good diet instead, which is better for you and the baby.

Symptoms

  • Rectal bleeding, tied to constipation
  • I think my body weight has normalized a bit, so I don’t have the thigh-rubbing syndrome anymore! I can wear pants without shorts underneath now! 🙂

Actions

  • Backup doula responded that there would be a $50 fee for being on call around the day of the delivery, and $200 if she did end up being the doula in the end, due at the post-partum visit
  • Had a conversation about high risk pregnancies with birthing class midwife (story above).
  • Quit cheese, started drinking cold-then-warm water 3 times a day
  • Started having fruit smoothies with prune juice in the morning, and since I did, I have been going to the bathroom every day! (cross my fingers, hope it continues)

Week 23

There wasn’t much action this week in terms of feelings or pregnancy issues, except for my husband running away from my loud snoring! He ended up buying one of those sleep headphones that play anything you plug them into during the night. It seems to be helping, but he says my snoring is so loud that now instead of not being able to sleep, he’s just going deaf with the waterfall AND my snores!
Besides all that action, little babycove has been hiccuping and quite active! The other day I felt a distinct little foot pressing against my belly! I pushed back and started playing with it, so fun! 🙂

Symptoms

  • Felt the baby hiccup!! It was regular intervals of pushing on both sides of my belly, which makes me think the baby is sideways… hope he straightens out soon!

Actions

  • Husband purchased sleep headphones to battle wife’s pregnancy snoritis 😉
  • Prune juice every morning is making me regular! I’ll keep it up. I’ve added cheese back to my diet.

Week 24

Babycove has officially passed the 24-week mark, where he is most likely to survive outside the womb! Also, I am officially 6 months pregnant. Milestooone! 🙂
Here’s a story for you: at the beginning of the week my husband was feeling very stressed over our yard situation: we’d been busy all weekend and he had not finished mowing the lawn or planting grass, so our yard was one big mess! In order to ease his burden (and get my mild-mannered stress-free husband back), I insisted in helping him out by mowing the lawn for him while he took care of turning the dirt in the front yard (a far more work-intensive task). I thought “not a big deal, it’s just a little exercise…” yeah, well, the next day my back muscles were so sore that they were pressing against my chest and throat and I thought I was having chest pains. I called my midwife who said I should call my PCP, then my PCP told me to go to the ER (since I was already at the hospital where I work anyway). So I did just that. The experience at the ER could have been better… Nobody explained to me what was being done on me, or where I’d go next. Nobody even introduced themselves! I was so scared I started to cry in despair, so my husband quit work early and came to be by my side. In the end, my “tightness in the chest” symptoms were not adding up to any heart-related condition, and I was not feeling shortness of breath, so we and the doctor concluded it must be muscular from the workout I got the day before. Those were the most expensive Tylenol pills I will ever buy.
What’s funny about all of this is that whenever I say I was mowing the lawn, people’s first response has been “and your husband let you???” hahaha! Umm, hello, have we met? My name is ina and there are not many people out there who currently “LET” me do ANYTHING. Poor Brian. He’s stuck in a lose-lose situation every time 🙂
Back to my back, THIS is why they tell pregnant women to take it easy: pregnancy has a whole bunch of side effects, one of which is back strain due to the extra weight (heck, I’m 20% heavier now than before pregnancy! TWENTY percent!!!), so there’s really no need to put more strain on your back muscles, or you’ll end up in the ER like me, like an idiot.

Symptoms

  • Got my first (noticeable) Braxton-Hicks contractions. These are not supposed to feel like real contractions, in fact, they’re not supposed to feel like anything. You just notice the tightening of your uterus and your belly gets hard like a basketball. It was so weird!
  • My ligaments were hurting. It was a little scary because it felt like cramps. When your ligaments hurt, you feel it along the sides of the belly, way bellow, but on the sides. It’s a sharp pain. It will pass, just make sure to relax. To prevent them, drink tons of water, and make sure you are getting enough potassium and calcium. In my case, I’m going to have to ask my midwife what I can do about calcium since I don’t drink milk and I’ve been told to avoid OJ due to the acidity. Sigh… Lose-Lose.

Actions

  • Went to class and practiced breathing. It was actually kind of funny to hear Brian speak softly to try to get me to relax using the Hypnobirthing techniques. It has to sound genuine, otherwise you’ll just crack up. I guess we have a lot of practicing to do!
  • Been snacking on Fiber One cereal (51% of your daily fiber intake in ONE cup!!!). So I got myself a bunch of cute little 1-cup size tupperwares, and I keep the cereal in there to snack on at work.
  • Resumed eating cheese. The prune juice smoothies in the mornings are really helping me be more regular. Although I don’t “produce” much in one sitting, sometimes I do get to go 2 or 3 times a day (but a minimum of 1). It’s a big relief compared to a couple of weeks ago.

Reading

Week 25

Not much has happened this week. Babycove continues to kick up a storm and I’ve become increasingly aware of the strength it’s gathering every day. I’ve noticed he doesn’t like it (aka shifts around a lot) when I recline or lay on my back, which is good because I’m not supposed to be doing those things anyway!
I haven’t been exercising much, but I did make myself go to the gym on Monday (Memorial Day) so I can weigh myself and at least be able to say that I did some intentional exercise. I did take it easy, though, I’ve been putting a lot of strain on my back and I don’t want it to cave.
This week we also started to listen to the Rainbow Relaxation CD (download here) that comes with the Hypnobirthing materials. I have consistently fallen asleep within 10 minutes, so I still have NO IDEA what the first color of the progression is. They say this is a good thing because I’m relaxing, but I don’t think it is so much relaxing rather than my uncanny ability to sleep no matter the time, place, position or noise in the air. I hope these traits help, but they will be no substitute for PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE.
I guess something peculiar did happen this past weekend… my husband became increasingly stressed out about a long list of tasks we have to tackle at home. I decided to make my own list (using

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