So what is going on with my career? I bet this is a question on many a 20-something young professional’s mind.
Before I bore you with the nitty-gritty details of my bitterness towards my career, let me illustrate my actual career path versus my needs and wants ever since I had half a brain to start thinking about my future:
| Age | I wish I could be… | Actual Career | Why not change? |
| 7 | Veterinarian, Inventor | 2nd Grader | I really should finish school |
| 10 | Writer | 5th Grader | I really should finish school |
| 15 | Electrical Engineer | 9th Grader | I really should finish school |
| 18 | Software Engineer | 12th Grader | No excuses! Enrolled in Computer Science |
| 22 | Software Engineer | College Senior | No programming jobs for int’l students 🙁 |
| 22 | (forced change) The Next CIO | Leadership Program Member | No excuses! Ok, let’s see what this really entails |
| 22 | Business owner | Leadership Program Member | I really should finish the program first |
| 24 | Business owner | IT Project Leader | Can’t start a business on a visa, wait until I get a greencard |
| 27 | Business owner | IT Project Leader | Got my greencard! But I should really finish my (fully-reimbursed) MBA |
| 28 (now) | Business owner | IT Project Leader | I really should finish school |
As you can see, my career has been a steady-stream of “whatever.” I never took a risk or actually followed my needs/wants, and always had a very convenient excuse not to do anything about it. I don’t blame anyone for my career choices. They have been MY choices, they have not “happened” to me, I have accepted them every step of the way.
Throughout the years I have spent my free time volunteering and doing things on the side to find out what my true passion is (without much success). My wanting to start a business could be more of an attempt at escaping the world of bosses and hierarchies, rather than dream fulfillment.
Truth is that I have no idea what I want to do in my life. I have grown increasingly frustrated with myself for wanting something different a the drop of a hat, and knowing that, if I just wait it out for a couple of weeks, my current passion will dissolve into nothingness, leaving me wandering aimlessly yet again.
At this point, I KNOW that my current job is not my life calling. I am trying to break into the software engineering world (see previous posts), but I can tell that it’s going to be very difficult without any actual software engineering experience under my belt. Even if I actually accomplished to switch fields, what’s to say I’ll be happy there? Like I said, this fad may fade just like all the others. The worst thing that could happen is that I do not get a new job, and I’ll just stay in the current one until I finish the MBA (in August 2010). At that point my “Why not change?” box will be empty of excuses, and I will have to really face the question of what to do with my career.
My absolute worst fear is retiring from my current company. My life wasted away out of fear of not getting a steady paycheck.
Do any of you feel the same way? I wonder what your “chronology of an unsatisfying career” table would look like and what you think is holding you back from making a change.
ina
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