Old Friends, New Friendships

I just had the nicest day with my new old friend Os. This post is about old friends who come back into your life after a period of separation and spark brand new friendships the most wonderful and unexpected way.

This may have happened to you at one point or another, but it happens to me often enough to merit writing an entry about it. My first roommate in college and I rekindled our sister-like friendship after 6 years or not being in touch at all. A friend from Germany, whom I met in a high-school prep course 12 years ago, visited Boston and looked me up to hook back up. And now, Os, a friend from my Venezuelan high school, is in town (and moving to Boston in August!) and looked me up to hang out.

These situations do not just happen randomly; they require several factors to be present. For instance:

• Identification of an opportunity to reconnect: somebody has to have a reason to make first contact. They may be in the neighborhood, or they need your help, etc.
• Having left things on a good note: not having a wall of bitterness to get through always helps
• Someone’s initiative: one of you has to make first contact, put yourself on the line ready for rejection, and take whatever comes. This is hard to do!
• A certain outgoingness from party A: if the someone who identified the opportunity is shy or introverted, it might be easier for them to not make contact at all. This is why the right personality is crucial.
• A certain outgoingness from party B: if the person being reached out to is shy or an introvert, they may be embarrassed by not having kept in touch for so long, or they may be too nervous to revive old feelings, or they just don’t want to outwardly reject anyone, and therefore might not respond at all. So, the outgoing personality trait must go both ways.

I’d like to think that I have done my part by always trying to say Yes when I’m sought after, and to actively seek people out if the opportunity presents itself. It has been rewarding every single time and I encourage anyone out there to reach out or say Yes.

It’s just a great feeling to make new friends… even if you were friends already 🙂

ina