You’ve all heard the expression “It’s a Catch-22,” right? In case you haven’t, it refers to the book “Catch-22,” and the expression is said when you are in a no-win situation: you have an end goal, but the attempt to achieve it gets you farther away from the goal itself.
That is what is happening to me at work right now. I call it the Bitch-22. Here’s what happened:
Disclaimer: All the events and opinions on this blog represent the views of the blogger alone, not of the company referred to as “the company.”
I had a project that basically summed up my deliverables for the year, until the leadership decided to put a halt on it one month before go-live. They had their reasons. My issue? They consciously and explicitly excluded me from that discussion.
Why do I think I was left out: I strongly suspect that my coworkers (who actually work and reside in a different state from me) think of me as “emotional” and “aggressive”, and thought my presence in the meeting would hinder their strategy session because I would waste their time defending my project, as opposed to thinking ahead to the future.
I have struggled with this image, because I consider myself an intelligent person and an asset to the team. I get things done like no other, and that’s pretty much the most important thing that my Type-A personality brings to the table. I know my area better than anybody else, and it made absolutely no sense to exclude me from that discussion.
What do I wish I could do about it? I wish I could get the Big Kahoona on the phone and tell him about how this team left me out, which made me feel discriminated against for personal reasons. I want to say I am not happy about the lack of support and this is an unacceptable situation. I could be helping the team, but they choose to put me in the corner. If I am not valued, then we are both wasting our times.
What message would that send? Ina is too aggressive, overbearing and emotional.
So what will I end up doing? I will phrase my concerns to my immidiate manager with a low voice and a tone that is not accusatory.
What message do I HOPE that will send? “Wow, Ina really is getting a raw deal. This should be addressed.”
What message will it probably end up sending? Ina is too emotional and has problems letting go of work issues. Would not make a good leader.
So what if I didn’t say anything at all? I’ll eventually implode of frustration and leave the company.
What message would that send, if I left? “Wow, Ina really had issues. Why couldn’t she talk about them with us? We would have listened and maybe would have been able to keep her talent in the company.” I know that’s the reaction because that’s pretty much the standard reaction to people leaving… or at least that’s what they keep telling us.
In conclusion: no-win situation.
Hence, the Bitch-22: treat an employee as an emotional wreck, and you will spark emotional reaction, feeding back into the original perception. Any attempt at breaking the cycle will get you farther away from being perceived in a different light.
When a company wants to retain talent, how can they foster an atmosphere for it to be acceptable, welcome and comfortable for employees to voice out their concerns, such that they are taken seriously?
Are you stuck in a Bitch-22?
ina