“Talking” Out Loud

You ever hear people say “I’m just talking out loud”? Duh, is there any other way to talk that isn’t out loud? I cringe every time I hear it. What they actually mean to say is “Thinking out loud.” Well, that’s what I meant to say in the title. This is a brainstorming post.

I just basically took a 4 day break from my job to try to bring my revs down to zero, in order to reboot my system, since I didn’t get much of a holiday vacation. I have 1 day left, and I really didn’t want to waste it lounging around, taking long naps and watching endless hours of TV. I don’t want this break to have been for naught. So let’s summarize the parts of my brain that have been unscrambled during this break:

1. I have plenty of time on my hands, and I’m scared to death of not using it wisely, which leads to my never doing or accomplishing anything.
2. I know that a balanced diet and exercise will automatically boost my well-being, but I’m having a really hard time getting started.
3. Sometimes I think I would rather have an existence with low expectations than strive for success in whatever I choose to focus on. Success seems exhausting. Isn’t this the definition of “lazy”?
4. Even though it feels like I’m not doing anything fruitful, I AM attending school and I will get an MBA degree out of it in just 8 months. But even I know that this degree will not bring me happiness.
5. I’m depleting my energy by worrying, instead of using it to visualize my desired future and going for it.
6. I think I might be a little depressed.
7. Maybe I could go swimming after work. I like swimming and it’s great exercise. I used to do aerobics after work in 2004, maybe I could get back on that horse. But where can I swim without having to pay so much per month?
8. I am positive that I will always dislike my job for as long as I have the problem of thinking I could be doing something better with my time, no matter what it is that I am doing (see point #1)
9. I still believe I can do anything I put my mind into, and that is a very scary thought. Options are endless and I am afraid of picking the wrong one.

There you have it. My unscrambled list of fears. I know I can get into a good diet and I can get fit. I just need to put my mind into it. Once I can do that, I know that the motivation to do other things will come.

I found a blog through Blog Explosion that really tells it like it is when it comes to motivating yourself. The blog is called The Real Mind and the post is called How to Motivate Yourself. One of the pieces of advice I liked the most was that “someone who is ill or depressed is most likely to have a great deal more problems motivating themselves.” We often think that pushing ourselves harder will get us out of our rut, but the truth is that we need to be well from the inside out in order to have higher goals.

Maybe I could break my “healing” up into stages:

Week 1 (Jan 18-24): Body Cleanse

• Plan every meal
• No unhealthy snacks between meals
• Get at least 7 hours of sleep
• Exercise 3 times a week

Week 2 (Jan 25-Jan 31): Body Cleanse & School Work

• Follow Body Cleanse guidelines
• Set aside 3-4hrs for schoolwork

Week 3 (Feb 1-7): Body Cleanse & School Work

• Follow Body Cleanse guidelines
• Set aside 3-4hrs for schoolwork

Week 4 (Feb 8-14): International Travel

• Keep to 3 meals a day, no unhealthy snacks between meals
• Continue exercise routine as time permits

Week 5 (Feb 15-21): Body Cleanse & School Work

• Follow Body Cleanse guidelines
• Set aside 3-4hrs for schoolwork

The hard part will be prioritize and staying focused. For example, next week I already have plans in the evening every day except for Friday, when I have plans in the morning. I also have plans on Saturday and Sunday. This first week is going to be very hard to keep up, but it’s gotta be done.

How can we start today?

• Plan meals for the week – Done!
• Go grocery shopping – Done!
• Plan exercise schedule (find a place to go swimming?) – Done!
• Put laundry away and make sure the house is starting the week in good shape – Done!
• Study for Saturday’s test – Put off to tomorrow
• Plan the activities for the week to make sure I will have time to study for the test – Done!

Ok… let’s start there. It’s going to be really hard to psych myself to do anything right now… but I have to make myself do it. I know it’s for the better. Things will be OK in the end. Baby steps.

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