I am feeling very conflicted right now. Here’s more or less what my train of thought has been for the past 2 days:
- Finished first MTEL, yay!
- I got too much going on in February, and it will be impossible to take the next MTEL on March 6th. Plus, the deadline has passed and I’d have to pay more if I wanted to do a late registration. I’ll just take the second MTEL in May
- But taking it in May means I would not be able to apply for jobs in the Fall for sure
- Oh, look! There’s an opening down the street for a Math Teacher for this Fall! (blood rushes, excitement builds up)
- Maybe I COULD rush it and take the subject-matter MTEL in March!
- But I got too much going on in February, I won’t be able to study
You see, the thing is that I don’t know if I’m going to be ready to change careers in the Fall. I got a raise coming up and I want to ride on it for a little while before giving it up. The thought of staying at my current job for another year is quite gloomy, but at the same time, I’ll be graduating in August, and I don’t know if I could handle SO much of a change all at once. Maybe I should take my raise, get my license without any rush, enjoy my holidays, keep taking MTELs until I got all the licenses I wanted, and apply for the following year.
My immediate reaction to what I just wrote is “I know that’s the right choice, but I don’t want to feel like I’m settling.” I try to tell myself that as long as I’m making progress (getting licenses), I am on the right track.
I’m so scared of this change. Am I just trying to sabotage myself by slowing down?
ina