Lost

I was talking to my husband, Brian, last night. I told him I was feeling a little lost lately.

For the longest time (many many years) I have been coming up with little ideas for things to do. Things that may seem crazy, but totally doable to me. Some of those things came to fruition, like volunteering at hospitals and a suicide hotline to help people; and some never took off, like my wanting to perform a comedy routine. My brain was always going. Anytime I’d say to Brian “so, I’ve been thinking…” he’d freak out “Oh no! What are you thinking of this time???” It was my thing.

But now… now… I’ve settled into an unproductive groove. Ideas are still there (write a book, work on the comedy routine, think of a way to get some side income, and others), but I stop the idea even before it starts brewing. After all, what are the odds I’ll actually carry it through this time around? I’ve been discouraging myself by citing my inconsistent record back to myself.

And so I do nothing. I come home at night, figure out dinner, and get to bed by 9:30. Repeat 5x/week. Then weekends come and I look forward to doing laundry, going to piano lesson, and having some time to spend with Brian. Nothing happens. Nothing changes.

Ever feel like you’ve reached a lull? But then you remember that when things were crazy busy and you were stressed out you wished you had nothing else to do? Looks like we can’t have it all. I don’t want to be crazy busy again… I just want to feel a little more fulfilled.

Any ideas on how to get started? What motivates you to get off your bum and shake things up?

ina

Photo Credit: Debbie Downer image